Remarks made at Memorial Celebration, 2/23/13: I met Martha in the mid-1990’s, and we immediately became fast friends. The ground on which our friendship began was our mutual interest in what has been called “trudging the road of happy destiny.” We were both committed to the practice of a practical spirituality, one that would support us in living life happily on Life’s terms. We had a lot of fun together. We listened to music, joined a book discussion group -- two of them, actually -- went to concerts, meditation workshops and retreats, to potlucks and parties with friends. I had never been to Ashland until the time Martha made arrangements for three of us to go. She made reservations at her favorite inn. She decided what plays we should see, where to eat, what stores to browse in, and led us on a walk through a park where the fall colors were especially gorgeous. It was a great weekend, with lots of laughter. Martha was so skillful at living with disability and illness that she made it look easy. She said that she learned early in life it is the responsibility of the disabled person to make others comfortable with your disability. If you can’t make them comfortable, people will avoid your company. It’s as simple as that. I was very moved by a story Martha once told me, about the very first time she ever felt welcomed into a friendship group strictly on her merits as an interesting and congenial person, with her blindness completely irrelevant. This was when she was in her late 20s. I could only imagine the pain and insecurity she must have lived with growing up, so often feeling like an outsider or an inconvenience. At URC, she also found welcoming friends and easy acceptance, and that just meant the world to her. Here are a few of of the things I especially admired about Martha: COURAGE AND DETERMINATION. Martha was determined to live a full and normal life with as much independence as possible. And I learned from being Martha’s friend that the courage I might need to face everyday anxieties and insecurities are nothing compared to what she endured, with a smile and an appearance of confidence. Martha was determined not to be a victim of her circumstances. She went to every doctor’s appointment fully prepared with her own research. She was among the first to move into URC, where she could feel sure she would not become a burden to family as she aged. When she decided drinking was a problem, she walked three miles by herself across town with her guide dog, at night, to investigate her first recovery meeting. When she learned that a vegetarian diet could arrest or even reverse heart disease, she arranged to attend a Dean Ornish training retreat; and she adhered faithfully to that diet from then on. When she decided that silent meditation retreats would be a good support for both health and spiritual practice, she did that -- facing down fears about the prospect of days of silence among strangers, without the verbal cues and interactions she relied on for orientation and validation. HER KINDNESS. Martha had such enormous tact in the never-ending task of teaching people how to help her, without making you feel like an idiot. And when you messed up, she could tell you without making you feel bad! PATIENCE. And her patience! -- Even when people who should know better petted her guide dog, again and again. When friends who should know better walked her into a doorjamb -- (that would be me). She was too kind to be less than gracious at these things, never visibly cranky or upset -- though I’m sure she sometimes felt that way. HER INTELLECT. I was an English major, too, but Martha’s knowledge of poetry and literature put me to shame. And she always had to explain the music to me at concerts -- and was most gracious about it! Martha was simply almost always the smartest person in the room, what more can I say? HER LARGE HEART. Martha had such a kind and compassionate heart. She was a loyal friend, always ready with a listening ear, a helping hand, and a word or two of wisdom. It was important to Martha to “be of service”-- she used that phrase often. In so many quiet and unassuming ways she was hugely helpful to others, giving tirelessly of her time and of her experience, strength and hope. Most of all, Martha’s great heart allowed her to love deeply, especially her dear family -- Claire and Bill, Catherine and Andrew. Time spent with family was so precious to her. She was so proud of them. And they were absolute rocks of support for Martha, at all times. So farewell, my dear friend. Ya did good, lady! You were of service to others. You were a great teacher to your friends, a beloved member of multiple communities. You raised a fabulous daughter, who has done you proud by becoming a fabulous mom herself. You went through so much, yet reached life’s end with such an abundance of happiness and contentment. May you rest in natural great peace, dear Martha. I will miss you every day.